We’re gunna shutdown like it’s 1995!

By Dan

Whip out your Will Smith style windbreakers, and throw on some Mariah Carey while you wait for Xena to come on, because apparently it’s 1995!

The government has shut down for the first time since 1995, and it looks like it’s going to end the same way as it did last time around — With republicans getting all the blame and forfeiting the next year’s elections, and possibly further, to the Democrats.

And Republicans absolutely should get the blame on this one. I’ve done a lot of GOP-bashing on this blog (and rightfully so), but I will concede that sane Republicans can have valid arguments when it comes to certain fiscal debates.

In this case, though, Republicans have just turned into a bunch of whiney, incessant sore losers.

If you don’t know why the government has shut down all of the sudden, here’s a quick recap:

2009 – President Obama and the Democrats passed and signed the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) on a strictly partisan vote

Confused boy witnesses President Obama sign a bill that will supposedly help his sick mom.

Confused boy witnesses President Obama sign a bill that will supposedly help his sick mom.

Since 2009 – Republicans have tried to repeal/defund Obamacare 42 times (all failing); Mitt Romney, the Republican candidate for president in 2012, ran on a platform to repeal Obamacare on “Day 1.” He lost by 3.5 million votes.

Sidebar: Obamacare was upheld in a conservative
supreme court ruling in the summer of 2012.

Monday (September 30th) – Republicans refused to pass a continuing resolution, which would fund the government at it’s current rates, unless the Democrats and President Obama agreed to defund or delay the implementation of Obamacare.

Tuesday at 12:01 a.m. – The Democrats grew a spine.

So here we are. The government is shut down. That means all national parks, museums, and national mall memorials are closed, and you currently don’t have anyone inspecting your food and drugs at the FDA. Nor is there anyone at the CDC trying to prevent any outbreaks of deadly diseases. But for more info on how the shutdown affects you, go here.

When the government finally gets back “up and running” at it’s snails pace of passing laws and continued political posturing, every talking head (including yours truly) will continue to discuss how this is only bad for the Republicans. Not only did they not learn from 1995, but they doubled down on their terrible decision. That’s like Mark Sanchez’s buttfumble, followed by Sanchez using that in an audition tape for another team.

The shutdown did not look quite as likely a few months ago. It wasn’t until guys like Ted Cruz started talking to his constituents about “standing up to Obamacare” during the August congressional recess that it seemed more and more likely.

Ted Cruz decided to “filibuster” in the Senate leading up to the shutdown, continually shitting on Obamacare for an impressive 20 hours. He had some hilarious quotes, most notably when he used the Dr. Suess classic “Green Eggs, and Ham” as an analogy, and the meaning of the children’s book was completely lost on him.

A book about not liking something before you try it. Then actually liking it when you do. -- how fitting.

A book about not liking something before you try it. Then actually liking it when you do — how fitting.

Sometimes I wish I lived in the Republican media/thought bubble because I simply can’t understand their logic on this one. I’ve tried. I’ve tried hard. But I simply do not get how they can threaten (and successfully) shut down the government because they don’t like a piece of legislation that has been tested in Congress time and again, tested in the Supreme Court and deemed constitutional, and tested at the ballot box via the Presidential election.

Republicans are saying Democrats are “unwilling to compromise.” But here’s the thing about compromise. Both sides have to give something up. And that is what I’m incapable of understanding with today’s Republicans. They claim an unwillingness to compromise from the other side, but show no compromise themselves.

inigo montoya compromise

So here’s my prediction: Due to the political fallout from this absolute nonsense of a government shutdown, the Democrats are going to win back the House by a very slim margin, but only if it lasts long enough for people to really start feeling it. If it ends this week, the GOP will likely hold on to the House by a slim margin (thanks, Former Massachusetts Governor Elbridge Gerry!).

Even if the ACA DOES fail. If it IS as horrible of a program as the Republicans make it out to be, why not just let it play out? If it’s as horrible as you say, then the Democrats will have ruined healthcare and would pay a massive political price for decades to come. But if it works? Then millions of people get healthcare. But apparently that’s not good enough for Republicans. They either need to be credited with it, or nobody can. And that’s exactly what they are afraid of. They are afraid this is going to be a success, and then they pay the price for fighting it so vehemently. And when you’re this far in the rabbit hole against the ACA, all you can do is keep digging.

Per usual, Jon Stewart gets it right.

Per usual, Jon Stewart gets it right.

The silver lining to all of this, though, is that maybe….juuuusttt maaayyybee, the tone and ridiculous rhetoric in Washington will simmer down some. Because when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up, right?

This post….in 6 seconds:

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